Momma Money's Soul Food and whole lot more

Jackson Black grabs a camera crew and decided to tail Ca$h Money's Gold flecked gold Limo to his moms diner in Detroit.
He talks among crew. Jackson Black: Keep on him but don't lose him and don't be too obvious, conspicuous is the key here. Surprise and candid interview giving a little background on Ca$h Money. Might get me more air time guys.

Cash Money's limo takes a sharp turn with screech down an alleyway. He rolls out limo and blasts the hell out of van following him with sub machines. Crew inside ducks down to avoid the shells. The B Girls armed jump out, Freak Baby stabs the the tires flat. Frenchie holds handle to back door van with her 9mm and Peaches cocks the sawed off. Frenchie counts to two and door swings open with crew cowering" DONT't SHOOT OUTBREAK PRESS DONT SHOOT!!!" face down in van,scattered like a deck card in 52 pickup.

Cash Money chuckles a huge belly laugh: DAMN, Need Warn Brotha, You all almost got ganked up in here. You all aint got no ride now. Pile in limo, BUT WIPE YOU FEET. just got shampooed and detailed.

They all climb into limo squeezing b girls closer than usual to Cash. The Limo has Russian Crystal decanters, a humidor for Cash's white grape White Owls with his name in gold leave, Purple Velvet like interior shag, a banging sound system, and a flat screen with some matches he was watching of CPS for his up coming match.
Some crew member you can tell never been in Limo before let alone Cash's. They Marvel at room and extras nebbing at everything they see.

Jackson: So Mr. Money how far is it to your mom's establishment?

Cash laughs: Not to far can smell her cooking , Hope you fools brought your appetite. Noone leaves my moms hungry I tell you that. Best Soul Food in world , Why you think I ride all way down here. Think I am gonna have some ribs, no helpin of her fried chicken, no , Aw hell I think she might just throw it all out there.  Shoot hold up better call Revern to meet us down there and tell momma we gots guests.

Freak Baby and Frenchie dial up their cells and wait and patch to car phone. Peaches cuddles close to Cash and whispers in his ear "I finally met yo momma, i am nervous, she know? How much she know Daddy? She know news yet? Peaches hides her left hand nervously from everyone.

Cash smiles a golden gleam: Peaches baby she gonna love ya, she gonna screw with you but she gonna love ya. Oh and rest you my momma old school, she dont trust white people. She might start spouting of some racist stuff at you all depending on her mood, just lettin you all know. She'll feed ya , take your money but you all white devils.(chuckles)

Oh hold up........ Moms hey I got more company coming, Rev. Rufus might pop in for bite too. I hope he eats Pork or he can get his white ass another tag partner aint giving bacon, ham and my momma ribs up for no amount money. Yes momma Peaches here beside me, No momma no Grand kids yet, Damn I got car load up in here with peeps from work. I know Grand Babies before you die, Momma you'll live to be thousand and if you do you be buried like the Nubian Queen you are Momma, What's B.S.? look I pulling in now Momma , Yes..... Yes.. Momma I see you in second DAMN.

They all file out car like clown car one after another. Cash opens door and a booming voice from kitchen yells " IS THAT MY BABYBOY, SONNY !!!! GET YO BLACK ASS OVER HERE GIVE MOMMA SOME LOVE."

A big black plump women swings a huge bear hug around Cash Money kissing him like machine gun and floppin him around like a rag doll. Then suddenly SMACK!!!! What you forget you phone, can write a letter, what you too good get you black ass down here for Sunday dinner and church. Yo ass needs mo church, Deacon my ass I gots meet Revern who make your dirty ghetto ass a man of god, oh and who's all these Honkies up in here LORDY never seen so many white devils up in here, you crackers aint from board of health to shut me down. My place cleanier than hospital you could do surgery in my kitchen and crappers here. S(BEEP) SON yo skin bones dont they feed yo ass? Momma gonna fatten up tonight and WHERE's this Peaches. CAN SHE COOK? Hey if can't cook in two rooms my babyboy aint getting hitch to ya. WHERE SHE at?

Peaches pops up behind Cash as if being fed to lion cage. Momma spins her around and looks ring .OHHHLORDY a white girl, but you got some back. Damn look at that rock, more rock on that than 5th street , CAN YOU COOK AND GIVE ME GRANDBABIES?

Peaches sputters out " I can cook, not as good as you but can cook. Maybe you can teach me you Mac and Cheese and Ribs so when Daddy hungry I can hook him up. Ya he is getting skinny..."

Momma Cash grabs her up in hug smothering in her big boobs " Peaches baby I been waiting for woman ask me from my sons dates to ask. You coming in kitchen to get yo education, f  it you white, you be soul sista by day out cooking, no get his black ass to church, whens wedding, oh lordy cousin Magic Juan has to do ceremony, WhAT COLOR YOU WEARING CAUSE KNOW YOU HEAD HOE, honey there aint no shame in that, sista i was in my prime i was burnin them in. Call me Nascar I burn rubber, but i found lord and cooking for everyone and Cash's pops that done in pass........  Still yappin leading Peaches to kitchen to put her to work.

Camera crew films but Jackson hasn't had chance to speak word since got in the door. Jackson: So umm Cash is true you and Peaches are engaged? How's that work with um other B Girls? I see where got you patented smack from.

Cash Money: Yeah Peaches been my main girl forever and figured I'd make her legit but you know it open and she handle business 24/7 anyway she be like management.  Freak baby and Frenchie still gainfully employed. Yeah my momma I guess you can say big influence on me. CPS be lucky I the one in match not her she kill you. I seen one time her lift cast iron stove one handed to clean under it, no joke. You like pickle pigs feet? tide you over to dinner (takes huge bite and hands a piece to Jackson who looks on in disgust, Cash's cell rings and it's Rev. Rufus)

You could resize that picture and Pain will fix rp formation. Anyway, good job, always laughing when reading your rp's.